What I do when I’m MAD at someone I love!

5 Things You Can Do Before You Let Ugly Out, Or When Your Mad, And Need To Put Her Away




Disclaimer: I have used grammatical liberties in this text.  While writing this, I am being 100% real, and when doing so, I tend to dialogue with my own grammatical flavor.  Please, put your red editing pen away.  It will not be needed here.  Thanks in advance.  You can proceed to reading now…


I know maybe you don’t get THAT mad.  You may be thinking that I’m backslidden, but I don’t think I am.  I still read my Bible, pray, and express myself to God, but I get mad.  Maybe your church traditions, meditation, vision board, Bible reading, or ability to speak in tongues completely alleviates your human emotions.  To be honest about me though, I can finish an hour of meditation or Bible reading, have my vision board up, come out from my sanctified place, and become MAD, HEATED UP, FURIOUS within seconds if I’m tempted right.


Don’t judge me.  I’ve had enough judgement in my day.  Please type a different website above in the “URL” bar if you have your nose turned up and your religious chip on your shoulder. This discussion is for the flawed: those that can come down from the holy mountain and confess to imperfection.  With the exception of the Messiah Himself, have all the perfect left yet?  I can wait…..


*looking at my watch…tapping my foot giving my professional but impatient grin/stare*


Okay, now that we have cleared the house of the “holy rollers”, let’s talk fo’real…


At times, I get mad.  Sometimes with other family members, but because I love my husband so much, he has an added weight on my emotions.  I can get upset about something like not enough comments about what I’ve cooked, or him having a long work day when I wanted to spend time with him.  To give myself some credit, my husband is not perfect either, so at times, I may react.  On other occasions, I may mistake circumstance with bad intention, and fool myself to anger.  While homeschooling, my son may mix playing with being confused about my instructions to the point where I can’t tell if he’s not understanding what I’m teaching, or if he is just being rotten and disobedient.  I get mad, and sometimes, I have to bring myself from monster-hood to holy virtue and grace (laughing as I write).  When dracula comes from within and I have to put her away, this is what I do…


  • Stop talking


I can’t remember what author described personalities as either the tortoise or the skunk–or something along those lines–but, I tend to be the skunk.  Typically, I’m the one who starts talking, raises her volume, and I can go up from there if I don’t watch myself.


I’m so ashamed at how ugly I can get, but to tell the truth, I can be ugly, vengeful, disrespectful, spiteful, and downright rude when I’m mad.  I have learned to dominate my time with a graceful attitude, but sometimes, that demon can talk the right talk, and I can swell up into something I don’t fully know.


To avoid the ugliness from rising, I have to stop talking, and DON’T…absolutely DON’T whoop nobody (or, “anyone” for those who can’t handle the slang) when I’m mad.  When I notice my heart pounding, my blood racing thru my veins, I have to stop.  I need to stop talking before sweat starts rolling down my face and before my voice elevates to the point that I feel thirsty, or else, I know ugliness is already out.


  • Watch my physiology


Like I said before, I have to watch my temperature, volume, and vitals.  Don’t be silly…I don’t have a stethoscope or anything.  I’m simply analyzing from within.  If I’m really upset, it can get to the point where I can almost promise that I can hear my heartbeat.  Long story short, I’m listening for my physiology; not doing a full-blown doctor exam in the middle of a climatic circumstance.


  • Step away until my vitals get normal


You may be able to get in sync with your graceful side by undergoing a different process, but, my process is to segregate myself for a period of time.  Sometimes, I may stay in the room, but segregate my speech from discussing the same topic until the self-control has risen up inside of me.  I may stay to myself conversationally, but not rejecting my responsibilities as a mother and wife.  I always attempt to dodge the seductive ol’ Snappiness, because I know the harm she can cause with her critical, sarcastic, and conceited words.  Sometimes, I am so angry that the best thing for me to do is step out of the room.  Sometimes, while I am set apart, I am simply doing breathing exercises, other times, I use the bathroom.  Some people I know play music or take a bath.


If you can relate…step away, and do whatever needs to be done to bring your graceful side back.  Your co-workers, friends, marriage, your kids, and your grand-kids will thank you.


  • Schedule a later time to discuss the matter


A simple statement like, “I can’t talk about this right now.  Can we talk about that later?” can go a long way!  If I don’t schedule the discussion for a later time, and I attempt to tackle it while Rage is sitting there twiddling her fingers, it can get ugly, and I can say things that I would regret FOREVER.


  • Apologize if I have misspoke

I have failed on more than one count.  I have to confess…I have let ugly out before, and I am beyond ashamed.  I never wanted my husband to see her.  I never wanted my friends or anyone I love to see her.  Regardless of whether I acted or reacted, self-control is something I want to wear in every circumstance, so I apologize if I have exposed otherwise.


If you’re like me, you may sit among holy rollers, and feel ashamed to discuss your truth. You may have lots of love in your home.  You may desire to always be well tempered, but sometimes you struggle.  Don’t worry, you’re normal–either that–or, we are both abnormal.  If this is you, make your strategy, and if you need help, check out ((one of my books – affiliate link)).  Don’t let conflict come to you unplanned.  Think now, so you can preserve your relationships.


P.S. – This is what I do to keep ugly away, and it’s working.


With love,

Tiffany Domena

*(pen dropped)*


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